Mike Moore: Getting shot was not in this cat's job description

By Mike Moore

Friday, April 8, 2005 7:49 PM CDT

When Bling Bling the cat finally staggered home, he was full of blood. The couple that own him, Ralph Bruner and Ilsa Hilpert-Bruner, figured it was from a coyote bite.

Wouldn't be the first instance of that in Caledonia, they know well.

That theory just didn't match the wound, the vets at the animal hospital thought. Seemed more like a gunshot.

It missed the poor little guy's lung by just a centimeter or so. His spleen had to be removed, and it took a chunk of his kidney. He needed lots of blood, but Bling Bling made it through.

Don't worry, the "CSI: Animal Crimes" episode ends here. That's as graphic as I'll get. I just wanted to show how an issue became personal for this couple.

Even if this hadn't happened, they'd be going to Monday's DNR spring conservation hearing in Union Grove to oppose the proposal to pave the way for legal hunting of stray cats. Only now they'll be bringing pictures as evidence. The meeting starts at 7 p.m. at Union Grove High School on Highway 45 South (Colony Avenue).

Evidence of the effects of bad judgment, which this proposal practically guarantees.

Cats kill songbirds. So, the thinking goes, any cat that's out of an owner's control or isn't wearing a collar would be considered wild, or "feral," and instantly become fair game.

How many cats could be considered "out of their owners' control?" That's easy. How many cats are there? Oh, and about those collars indicating ownership? Bling Bling has figured out how to open the sliding door on the couple's house. Compared to that, wriggling out of collars is remedial stuff.

"Cats tend to go through tiny spaces," Hilpert-Bruner said, then joked, "The only thing you could do is spray-paint them."

Or keep an eye on them 24/7.

That doesn't leave much room for barn cats like Bling Bling. Their job is to catch mice and other rodents that come to nip at the animals' feed. Farmers don't need those four-legged disease-spreaders around. Part of a barn cat's job description is roaming free without constant supervision.

Getting plugged with a .22 is nowhere in that description.

And Bling Bling is a "terrific" barn cat, Hilpert-Bruner said. Make that was. He's retired and in the house now, slowly getting up to speed. His midsection's starting to grow back the hair that had to be shaved.

Bling Bling was something of a wild cat when he first wandered onto the Bruners' land about a year ago. It took several months to socialize him, they said. Now he's indisposable, as the $4,100 in vet bills they've been willing to incur proves.

That wasn't the connotation their young friends had in mind when they named him. It was because of his gold fur, the feline equivalent of gaudy jewelry.

To make sure he's OK and dealing well with their other felines, the couple take turns sleeping near him. They'll have to leave him behind when the caravan heads to the DNR hearings. It's only one of dozens of issues on the agenda, but it's sure to be the loudest.

As a card-carrying dog person, I should really recuse myself from defending cats. Hunters, for the most part, are smart people and won't abuse this.

But, when guns are involved, it's dangerous to expect people to make subtle distinctions. That's part of the reason deer hunters wear orange jackets.

Let 'em stick to truly wild animals, the pheasants and deer and squirrels. The ones nobody has to patch up when they come home.

Mike Moore's column runs three days a week: Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He can be reached at (262) 631-1724 or by e-mail at: mike.moore@lee.net

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