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Record ball equates to high-yield Bonds
As Barry Bonds entered Miller Park close enough to taste the all-time home run record, Aaron Buckney took a friend up on front-row outfield seats for Friday night's game. He hoped to take something valuable home to Burlington.
Unfortunately, the free Gorman Thomas bobblehead he got at the gate was not the rare powder-blue-jersey kind. Sometimes commanding $50 on eBay, those hold more value for him than the potentially million-dollar ball that will soon put Bonds past Hank Aaron.
"I'd throw it right back," Buckney said.
His kids invented the nickname "Booey" Bonds after regularly hearing Dad jeer the guy during "SportsCenter."
I have mixed feelings toward the slugger, too. Those are dwarfed by my extremely positive feelings toward hundreds of thousands of dollars.
While Brewers fans in the right-field stands greeted each Bonds at-bat with boos and signs bearing asterisks, Daniel Stevens and Chad Payne of Janesville bravely stood to clap. Stevens attended his first baseball game in a decade to see one of his heroes play.
"I'd love to be able to give him the ball and say, 'Put this on the mantle, Bro,' " Stevens said. "But it's a life-changing experience."
Just as the steroid factor has split public opinion on the San Francisco Giants slugger, views differed even within families on what they'd do with the baseball. Katie Kroner of Kimberly would parlay it into college tuition for the children, while husband Travis said he'd graciously hand it back to the Giants star.
Wearing Bonds jerseys, the father-and-son tandem of Elwood Coleman Sr. and Jr. leaned opposite ways, too. The Chicago men absorbed plenty of abuse, with people asking Elwood Jr. if he took steroids. I'd estimate he goes at about 150 pounds, so the evidence is weak.
What happens to home run ball No. 756 will come down to a personal choice, and the purists had better not shake their fingers if that choice is to count the cash. Whoever catches the thing will have to be an amazing athlete just to hang onto it. One auction house already backed off its seven-figure price out of fear somebody could get whacked.
If they had any, fans shared no tricks with me on how to hide the record ball from the wild-eyed masses. There were no suspiciously large hats, no false-bottomed pockets or miniature safes handcuffed to arms.
The switched-ball trick one of my co-workers thought up? There's a hole in that plan, too. The Bonds balls are specially marked, so hiding the real one and whipping your son's Little League ball onto the field won't fool anyone.
I told Kevin Hahn of Lake Mills to keep his autographed bat handy in case he needed to fend off a stampeding herd. Where his buddy Tim Arndt sees only a chance for a free autograph, plenty of others will see the lottery jackpot.
Security guards wondered aloud if the price tag would make diving for the ball worth their inevitable pink slip.
Good for them. Fans' interest is what makes that record - and that ball - so valuable. At least they're honest, compared to the athletes who assure everyone their $75 million renegotiation was never really about the money.
Hahn maximized his chances with seats for the entire series. In the off chance the record ball still lands in Milwaukee, Hahn demonstrated the reflexes to grab it by beating me to a batting practice ball that bounced between us.
Although the Didier family of Port Washington was divided between loyalty to bank account and loyalty to principle, they were unanimous on loyalty to team. All agreed it'd be "a sin" for Aaron's record to fall in his own city. Brewers home run balls, on the other hand, would be universally welcomed.
"If it was J.J. Hardy," Laura Didier said of the Milwaukee shortstop, "we would keep it."
Too bad the record-chasing circus might leave town today without letting anyone face that delicious dilemma.
Mike Moore's local column runs three days a week and will return to its normal slot on Wednesday. He can be reached at (262) 631-1724 or:
mike.moore@lee.net
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