Each time I drive the Saltmobile down Ohio Street lately, I imagine Neil Armstrong climbing out of the lunar lander and hopping gingerly across the surface.

Except Tranquility Base would be the wrong name for these craters. Nothing tranquil about negotiating Racine's unofficial pothole hub.

"As soon as you cross 20th, they're like a minefield," said Mike Hoecherl, who sees the pock marks from his front window when he's not dodging them on wheels.

Since I've lived here, at least, Ohio has never been photogenic. It dips suddenly and cracks in odd places. If they made Botox for asphalt, that would be a prime test patient.

Somebody took an informal poll on our blogs, and the road was a near unanimous choice as the city's cruddiest. That was before this last round of wintry goodness bumped it deeper into hall-of-shame territory.

Workers do come out to shovel patching material into the nastier ones. And come out again.

"Whatever they're putting down, it doesn't stay in the potholes," Hoecherl said as we turned our heads to the thump-thump of a city bus hitting one.

His mechanic advised him to hold off on a car realignment. Although he drives the obstacle course enough to remember roughly where the holes are, fresh snow negates that advantage. Then it becomes a game of "Concentration" at 35 mph.

Give or take a few. At Starbuck Middle School, roughly the northern end of the lunar landscape, Le Ann VanBoven joked the route is even scarier for someone like her with a lead foot. Not to mention cell phone minutes to burn and classic rock cranked up.

Laurie Fritsch, a clerk in the school office, said her husband detours to Lathrop Avenue. She noticed one particular omnivorous pothole near 21st Street.

"I'm like, 'Oh, my God, somebody's gonna lose their life in that one,' " she said.

I asked city public works commissioner Rick Jones why the street is such a mess. Temporary fixes aren't really fixes, he admitted.

"That street is at the end of its life," Jones said.

Pack the playlist full of dance tunes for this funeral. Something tells me Racinians won't be grieving, even if the construction scheduled this year on Ohio proves to be a pain in the tailpipe.

Mama Nature's winter-long variety show trashed roads all over the area. Low-grade concrete from the '60s simply compounded the damage to this one.

Jones said the state lines up construction projects years in advance. Meaning, if this one hadn't already been in line, molars and auto suspensions could've been rattling several more years.

"You would've liked to catch it one year earlier," Jones said, "but nobody's crystal ball is that perfect."

As construction workers smooth over the old moonscape, they should stick a plaque in the ground as a reminder: "We came in peace for all motor kind."

Saltmobile photos

This could be winter's last stand, so there's not much time left to get your saltmobile entry in. If you have an ultra-salty car, e-mail me a picture or call and I'll tell you how to get it to me the more traditional way. I'm planning to award a free car wash pass to the best.

Mike Moore can be reached at (262) 631-1724 or

mike.moore@lee.net