Now here is one thing you should know: You gotta read this kinda slow. I think you'll find out in short time that phrases in this column rhyme. There is a name for this, I'm told, but I forget because I'm old.

I greet you now with season cheer as we look forward to next year. I think the year 2008, as we look back, was nothing great. We had a lot, Lord only knows, of war, foreclosures, money woes.

Perhaps Obama knows some ways to bring us back to happy days. Of course, there's stuff that even he cannot control, as we will see. There are some things the president will not be able to prevent.

Now here's one thing I'm gonna say: We'll shovel snow on Mother's Day. I know you think we've had enough of that dad-blasted fluffy stuff. But I am sure that it will blow and give us 10 more feet of snow and then, I think, that we will freeze in minus 35 degrees.

Enough of that - don't you agree? Let's think of other things, by gee. Such as the auto makers' plight. There is no end to that in sight. The answer's simple, oh my stars. We gotta buy more U.S. cars. Then if we do, the auto guys will praise consumers to the skies. But when they're finished with the praise, each CEO will get a raise and that will make the profits drop without a way to make that stop, and then we'll hear each Big Three boss moan and cry about the loss. They'll head again, without abash, to Washington to beg for cash.

Barack will tell us of his plan to keep the peace with old Iran, and how to bring the brave troops back from years of service in Iraq, and how he'll bring us news so grand of peace within the Holy Land. The Big O, I think, understands that we aren't liked in many lands. He'll probably try to make amends so all those nations will be friends. He can't afford to cause turmoil 'cause we depend on foreign oil. And then, of course, he'll try to see how we can make more energy from water, wind and shining sun. He will not rest 'til that is done. He's gonna try to share the wealth and see that we have care for health. He'll seek to open doors for trade and try to cut down foreign aid. He's gonna try, I'm sure, to end the way our politicians spend. From big Alaska to New York, he's gonna try to cut the pork.

Ms. Clinton, I am certain, will end threats to us from Kim Jong Il. And she will huddle with the Russ and put an end to all that fuss so we'll be through forevermore with havin' frets about Cold War.

Now, meanwhile down in Illinois they'll all be jumping high with joy when Gov. Rod's efforts finally fail to keep himself from goin' to jail.

And then, alas, behind our backs, some group is gonna raise a tax, perhaps on sales, gas or phone. I hope they leave the beer alone.

There are some other things I fear as we approach another year. We'll likely have a hurricane by name of Helen, Ike or Jane, and we'll hear lots of gripes and rants about illegal immigrants.

Now in the sports world, I'd take bets that Mr. Favre will leave the Jets and ride his tractor until fall when Detroit's Lions come to call, and he'll become their quarterback so he can try to beat the Pack, and if he does, he'll smile and say, "I dreamed it would turn out this way."

In baseball news the New York Yanks will be the champs and they'll give thanks to CC, that big pitching whiz, who went to where the money is.

And in the city of Racine, this time next year we'll be crime-clean. No one will murder, rob or maim. The streets at night will be quite tame. The Pancake Day, the County Fair, the fishing gig, we'll all be there. And when you drive to these events, there will be few car accidents 'cause people will be walking more when the price of gas is six-o-four.

The editor will get much mail about the planned commuter rail. And when it comes Election Day, the public will be asked to pay more money to old Unified in order to restore its pride.

As for the year 2009, I'm sure that most things will be fine. The resolutions that I make, I know darn well, I'm gonna break.

Emmert Dose is a retired Journal Times reporter. His column appears monthly in Lifestyles. Write to him at The Journal Times, 212 Fourth St., Racine, WI 53403.