By Mike Moore
Journal Times | Posted: Friday, October 3, 2008 12:00 am
MOUNT PLEASANT - Back when they cruised along in the "love of their life," as Jackie Harrell described the couple's Pontiac Fiero GT, she and husband, Marvine, got pulled over only once. That's all she admits to, anyway.
These days, Marvine does the patrolling. He'll scold someone shuffling past his room to "Slow down!"
That's about as chatty as he gets anymore. Marvine, 73, is deep in the grasp of Alzheimer's disease and lives at the Becker-Shoop Center, a nursing facility for dementia patients at 6101 16th St.
Though she misses Marvine's smooth conversational skills, Jackie still faithfully and cheerfully comes to visit him each day. Staff members said it's not uncommon for her to spend seven hours at the center.
"Your lifestyle changes, but I know he's still the same caring person," Jackie, 69, said this week, "and you just have to do the best that you can."
When she visits, it's not exclusively for her husband. She helps run Bingo games, sets place mats on tables for meals and chats with other residents, Becker-Shoop activities director Marcie Molbeck said. That way, even the few residents who don't get regular visits from their relatives or friends have some attention.
"You know which ones they are, so you walk past and (give them a) special hug or special something," Jackie said. "It makes their day."
A television crew followed her around for three days last spring, filming part of a large project on Alzheimer's for the cable network HBO. An airing date hasn't been announced, but Jackie said she was told it should run next year.
It can be incredibly frustrating to watch a loved one's sharpness fade, said Lynda Markut, whose parents both suffered from dementia and who does seminars on caregiving for the Alzheimer's Association. One problem, she said, is that frustration can be passed on to the patient.
"If families are not able to let go of what that person used to do, whenever they walk into the room, that person can feel that sadness that family feels," Markut said.
Caregivers have an easier time adjusting when they understand how dementia works, she added. She used the example of doctor appointments. Rather than argue about whether the patient forgot about the appointment, "you get them ready to go, and it's nobody's fault," she said.
Marvine was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2001. He kept uncharacteristically turning to Jackie to approve everything and seemed lost, she said.
It took her a while to come to terms with the changes in Marvine, she said. Gradually, she became more involved in raising awareness about the disease, doing an occasional interview.
The attention makes her feel a little awkward. She's far from the only devoted caregiver or volunteer for the cause.
"I'm not used to being in the limelight," she said. "I'm just Jackie."
To stay grounded in her own life, she bowls at Castle Lanes. The thorough film crew even followed her there, adding an element of pressure.
"It took maybe half of the first game to get it together," Jackie said.
The film project coincided with the couple's 50th wedding anniversary. The Harrells met in the 1950s at Wayman AME Church at a former location on 12th and Villa streets, and two of their four children still live in Racine.
This year, Jackie plans to participate for the first time in the Memory Walk, an annual Alzheimer's Association event to raise money for research and programs. The local event is today at the University of Wisconsin-Parkside.
Last year's event drew close to 500 walkers, said Kristen Crump, spokeswoman for the Alzheimer's Association's southeastern Wisconsin chapter. And more people for Jackie to add to the "new family" she said she has made during her husband's illness.
The man she's walking for knows a little about being sociable.
"Marvine never met a stranger," she said. "He could talk to anybody about anything. It didn't matter what it was."
If You Go
The Memory Walk, a fundraiser for the Alzheimer's Association, is scheduled this morning at the University of Wisconsin-Parkside.
Pledges can be turned in beginning at 9:30 a.m., with the walk to begin at 11 a.m. Last-minute walkers are welcome, and donations will be accepted at the event.
For more information, go to the Web site of the association's local chapter: